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Got the BROWN envelope


I got the BROWN envelope the other day.... it's kinda funny because I got the "brown envelope" from the Consualte in Jakarta already for our "potential" Indonesia adoption already and even though now that our current I-171H is no longer valid for China, we still got the one for China too....It was dated back on October 12, 2006. I think if I had received it 4-5 months ago, I would've been more excited about it... I think the part that makes it less exciting is that I know I'll have to do a brand new application for China by the time we go there to pick up Selah. I have become more discouraged lately with the whole adoption process. I definitely have UP days when I feel re-energized and excited about God's promises to us, but I seem to have come to a place where that is more rare these days... I have to fight to keep up the "good spirits". God is definitely putting me through a time of testing to see if I'll continue to trust Him with this.... the adoption through Indonesia, China... it all seems to be at a stand still and for me, who likes to plan ahead, it has become increasingly difficult... wow, I definitely didn't plan to write such a "downer" post :) :) Thankfully, nobody needs to read this and it's good to have on record the "highs" and "lows" of this process.... I hate waiting... I really do :) But if it's You, God that's put me on this waiting time, I will EMBRACE it :) I do have a "happy looking" picture of me holding the brown envelope though :)

GOD is good, all the time, Praise God for always being faithful to refine me :)

Comments

Ruth said…
I know everyone is probably tired of me saying this and it does not make the waiting easier - but God's timing is perfect! Hope to see you in a couple of weeks!!

Ruth
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 8:34:00 PM PDT
Lisa said…
Pam,

Sorry you are down right now. I totally can relate. I hope you will start to feel up about the adoption soon. Hang in there. We are here for you!

Lisa
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 12:34:00 PM PDT
Unknown said…
Pam-

So sorry that you are feeling down. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable. We need to be honest with each other, with ourselves, and with God about how we are feeling.

I wonder about your Indonesian adoption plans all the time. Being on both adoption journies, both with such uncertainty, must be a real challenge.

God will bless your faith, and I will pray for you.

Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. Your friendship through this journey...even if through cyber space is appreciated!
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 3:17:00 PM PDT
Angie said…
Pam,

I received my brown envelope too and I have to agree that if it had been a few months ago it would've been more exciting. It was pretty anticlimatic last week!
I am sorry you have been down lately. I guess we will all have those moments/days/weeks in the months to come but thankfully we all have each other to lift one another up during those times. Hopefully, we won't all be down at the same time! ;)

Praying for you,

Angie
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 at 3:32:00 PM PDT
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