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The boys start school tomorrow....

Tomorrow, I am sending off all my boys to school :(
It feels like the end of an era.... I have never had all my boys leave my side ever and I am feeling sad about the baby days being what seems like gone forever.... I really never thought I would have all my kids start school and have even 3 hours alone. Really, it's not that I'll be bored or anything... I think I'm just sorta mourning the days when it used to be just the boys and me. I really tried hard to make great memories with them this summer knowing that it will never be exactly like this again. I know we'll have little ones again in the house but my mind just keeps going back to those crazy days when my boys were so little and I always felt frazzled from lack of sleep :).... when none of them went to school and they spent every waking moment with me.... where we'd get up whenever we wanted and ate breakfast at 10AM :) Those were hard times too with all of them needing so much from me, but I really, really treasure those days.....Noah is going into 4th grade! I remember so well the day I took him to kindergarten and then 1st grade when he spent all day without me. What physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges lay ahead of him this year? Calvin is a 2nd grader... I remember 2nd grade so well... does he have thoughts like I did in 2nd grade?? and then, there's Michael, who had the privilege of being "my baby" the longest.... He has always been my little buddy that tagged along with me in everything I did around the house and around town. I'm going to miss having those one on one time with him having thoughts about life, about Jesus, and singing worship songs together really loud in the van. He's known for a while now that he is NOT A BABY and I have to control my need to keep him a baby....I feel a mixture of sadness and a sense of pride when I look at my boys. As I tucked them all in bed tonight, I prayed Ephesians 1:17-18 over them...

I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you Noah, Calvin & Michael, the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, that the eyes of your understanding being enlightened that you may know what is the hope of His calling....

More than anything in the world, I want our children to know God loves them unconditionally and that they can receive His love and love Him back... and that He desires a deep relationship with each of them and has His heart set on them to walk with Him always..... Tonight, before bedtime, we had a family worship time and the song "Open the eyes of my heart" was playing on my ipod for all of us to hear and as we all sang and worshipped God, I asked the boys if they knew what it meant that God wanted to open the eyes of their heart and I was so happy to hear their responses... God really is taking care of them.... I've been such an imperfect parent so much of their life, yet God, in His kindness has held them close and claimed them as their own. I am eternally grateful for many things but tonight, I am so thankful for our boys... even though I haven't always treated them as treasures from Him, they truly are and He is ever so kind to remind me of that fact all the time all the while, telling me how deeply He loves me too. God, you're so kind and I love You.

Comments

Unknown said…
What a beautiful post. You are an excellent example. I know that God will bless their school experience, this family transition, and you new free time.
Leslie said…
Pam, that was so beautifully written. Your such a super duper mommy to your boys. They are so lucky to have you as their mother, and I know they will always cherish you for that. It has to be hard for Michael to be gone for those 3 hours a day, but try and enjoy your time by yourself. I'm sure you will find things to keep you busy with. You seem like such a busy bee anyways...LOL. Praying for your transition and a new wonderful blessed school year for you all.
Angie said…
What a sweet, heartfelt post. I remember all too well what you are feeling and going through. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom for you but unfortunately I don't because every new year of school hits me hard and I so long for the baby days back. However, like you, I am so proud of my boys and the young men that they are becoming.
I hope that all went well today and that everyone, including you had a great day!
Middle-Aged Moi said…
What a great post. I loved it. THanks for that.
Melinda said…
What a heartfelt post Pam! I relate to so much of how you are feeling. Your boys are so lucky to have you as their mom! I know your boys will have a wonderful school year and that you will come to enjoy your free time!

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