Skip to main content

Good bye, pacifier

My Sweet Anna came to us from Taiwan with an addiction to her pacifier, which, she has lovingly called "poppy" for as long as she's been able to speak. I had 2 boys that were just as addicted to this wonderful invention and as much peace as it has brought our home, it has also come with some negatives.... such as, the lost pacifier in the night and having to retrieve it so child can sleep again, making sure every trip comes with it as many of these as possible so that if we were to lose one, we would not suffer from a night of lost sleep, not to mention the controversy over those who are FOR pacifiers and those who are AGAINST and those like me, who try to find the balance between keeping peace in the home but not letting it become such an addiction....

For our boys (that were pacifier users) and Anna, our household(mainly me) had decided long ago that pacifier use would be restricted to crib use only or if we were on a LONG car or stroller ride (with the exception of times when they were newborns and really "needed" that extra comfort). They just weren't allowed to have it walking around the house, store, etc when they had plenty of other things or people to help "soothe" them. Those rules had always worked, but, if you know anything about addiction :), you know that we all want those "things" that we are addicted to ALL THE TIME if we could. Still, we tried our best in the Askew household to stick with our rules, and for the most part, worked pretty well. Beginning with my oldest, (who, by the way, had the pacifier habit the longest!), as they got older, I kept thinking to myself... "how am I going to break this habit of "needing" the pacifier at bedtime? " As much as pacifiers were great in the beginning, you soon begin to develop this love-hate relationship with it. With Noah, he was nearing age FOUR, we were living in Indianapolis at the time, finishing up Aaron's trauma fellowship.... I had Calvin, who was 2 and I was 8 months pregnant with Michael. As I looked at my crazy life and our upcoming move from Indiana to Oregon, and the upcoming birth of my 3rd child, I realized that we just didn't NEED the pacifier anymore. So, I decided one day that I would quit buying pacifiers and that we'll use the ones we had (I think I had 2 for him then) and once the 2 were lost, that was it.... we had to quit. The whole process made me nervous because as much as I hate to admit it, it was possible that I was the one more addicted to my son's pacifier use than him! :) So, one fateful day, we took a trip to Chicago and on the way back... it happened... we lost his LAST pacifier. Every part of me wanted to go buy a new one but my sweet, sweet husband reminded me of the vow I made to not buy anymore so I told Noah that we don't have it anymore and that was it.... Thankfully, he also had a blue blanket that he was addicted to so he atleast had a different comfort item. I put him to bed that night, feeling so bad for him as he layed in bed with his blanket and a hard, cold Buzz Lightyear :) He went to bed and never woke up :) I think we had one or two days of him talking about it, but other than that.... it was DONE... habit BROKEN :)

Michael was a little bit easier.... when he was 2 years old, he ended up getting hand-foot-mouth disease (which, if you don't know what that is, you develop sores on the hand, mouth and foot :) The sores in his mouth were really bad and everytime he tried to suck on his pacifier, it hurt him so he HAD to sleep without it... once I realized that he can fall asleep just fine without it, I took them all away and never gave it back.... SO EASY. I remember actually thanking God for allowing Michael to get that terrible virus!!

So, it is now Anna.... our sweet girl that came with 3 pacifiers of her own when we got her in Taiwan :) I had recently been thinking about how we really need to break her pacifier habit while she's young... I think the longer you wait, the harder it gets (for the child and parent) to break this habit... In another "God" sorta way, while we were in Hawaii, she began biting all her pacifiers... she would bit them so much that they began to break... I went to Hawaii with what seems like a MILLION pacifiers and they ALL came back chewed up. I thought that would help break the habit and in a similar way I vowed I wouldn't buy another pacifier when I weaned Noah, I did that with Anna. I threw away the ones that were REALLY chewed up but let her have the ones that were OK... I am not really sure why, but I think I didn't feel quite ready to have her give it up because of our upcoming China trip... I really didn't want to take away something that gave her comfort.... but the slightly broken "or what Anna called "Little bit broken ones" were starting to get more and more chewed up and 2 nights ago, I went to bed having this fear that she would choke on the little rubber pieces.... so, as I was thinking about this, I was talking with a friend, who told me that I really need to either get a new pacifier for her, or just stop giving her the "slightly broken" ones. I knew she was right so yesterday, I tested out her ability to sleep without it by showing her the broken pacifiers and told her "These are broken and they are dangerous... we need to throw them away, and starting today, we can't have them anymore" She actually handled it really well and said "Baby to bed?" which meant she wanted to make sure she could still have her "Baby" the teddy bear she LOVES to sleep with. So I told her she could have the bear.... As I took her to nap, I prayed it would be a success :) and to my surprise.... no tears, no mention of pacifier.... no problems... :) Same thing happened at night. no crying, no wakefulness... no problems... So, as it turns out, I was the one addicted to her pacifier use.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Portland Marathon 2013 (My First ever Marathon Recap)

I wanted to capture my moment by moment FIRST marathon experience so here goes: I'll start with the night before: We went over to Aaron's parents house to have some dinner with them as well as Micah & Danielle (Aaron's brother and wife) and their kids, Gabriel and Grace, and Mathew and Taylor (cousins of our kids).   We got back to our hotel (Hilton downtown) around 7:15pm and I organized my outfit for the big day while Aaron took the kids swimming at the pool.  I agonized back and forth about whether to carry my Nathan hydration vest or not for a week and Aaron finally helped me make the decision that although the aid stations were going to be plenty, I should go ahead and carry my own water.... because he knows that  1) I don't like stopping to get water even if it's a moment because I feel like I lose momentum 2) I am really BAD at drinking from the cups and have gotten multiple water sloshes up my nose (which hurts!) and water on my shoes (which, is BA...

I am OVER DUE :(

Happy 9 months since LID! I was in a very goofy mood and BEGGED my DH to take this picture of me.... Had I been expecting a tummy baby, I'd be officially OVER DUE. I think I have WAY too much time on my hands :) Gotta go tuck my kids in bed now.

Much has happened...

It's been exactly one week since we were given our bad news about not being able to adopt the girls from Indonesia. God has really comforted us alot during the past week... I still have a hard time not crying when someone asks me when we can go get the girls.... In my excitement, I showed so many people at church and friends the pictures of the girls because in my heart, I really felt these girls were ours. But, God is not done writing our story ~ I know that this will have a Godly outcome and we will move forward. We have had lots of support and encouragement ~ most people we know well have expressed their sadness over this. I returned the bedding I bought for the girls at the store and when I did, I was sorta in a sad mood.... the person handling the returns said "Are these not going to work out?" to which, I replied "No, it's not" and then she felt like she had to push the issue with me and said "Is there anything wrong with it?" By then, I...